A dear friend of mine has been on a little bit of what she calls an "emotional roller coaster." She's dealing with some things - like we all do - but the other night, after some cheap girlfriend therapy, I was...jealous.
It's because I feel a little bit dead inside.
I take a medication called Effexor XR and it's typically used as an anti-depressant. It has also been found to help eliminate hot flashes and I started taking it when I was going through chemotherapy. I'm still taking it because I'm menopausal (thanks, cancer) and with that comes more HOT FLASHES!
I was embarrassed about taking an anti-depressant at first and have always qualified it with an explanation (like the one I just gave you). I told the pharmacist the same thing when he filled the prescription (he just looked at me and said "uh-huh.") One of my nurses told me that "everyone could probably use some sort of anti-depressant." It was then I decided it wasn't such a bad thing after all. I was dealing with some heavy stuff after my diagnosis and I think the Effexor really helped me stay even-kelled.
But now, I just feel sort of numb to everything. I don't experience a whole range of emotions. This is good when I'm sad or bummed out about something but it's the same when I'm happy or overjoyed. It makes life kind of boring from my perspective.
I'm thinking about not taking it anymore (no need to comment about how to stop taking it, if you are familiar with this drug. I know it needs to be under doctor supervision and all that).
I just want to FEEL again. Although, I do have some reservations because the severity of my hot flashes could get worse after I have my ovaries removed. There's gotta be a natural alternative, right?
I'll leave you with this ditty: "I wanna new drug/One that won't make me sick/One that won't make me crash my car/Or make me feel three feet thick."
3 comments:
Hope you can find something that works!!
When you find one let me know:
My husband has been taking Effexor for about a year and he was doing great on it until recently and said the same thing you did, he has no emotions anymore. He is going for a consult with his dr soon. There are so many on the market I'm sure you can find something to combat the hot flashes and not feel so robotic.
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